i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Randomize
