I'll bet she douches with gravy.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
