I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
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