but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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