you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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