so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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