i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
We don't watch enough power rangers
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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