okay pat passed out under dana's car
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
