i permit you to call me
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
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