Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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