I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
