Are we in a gay sports bar?
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
