Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
