I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
