I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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