Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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