He uses pillows to masturbate.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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