I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
