Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Randomize