im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
You made out with two different species that night
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
