Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Randomize
