no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
