I can tuck mytits in my pants
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
The best revenge is premature balding
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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