just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
