I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
