Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize