You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Your cock deserves a montage
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
send nudes
from the living room?
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
