she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Randomize
