I'm gonna have a badass scar
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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