It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Randomize
