one might say we're banned from that church
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Randomize
