I think my vagina is haunted
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
