Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize
