I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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