i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Little spoons don't ask big questions
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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