what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
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