You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
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