I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Randomize