woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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