So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
