Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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