ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
