GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
40s are totally the cure
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
