sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
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