There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
