Just mADE A PArabola og urine
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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