so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
wanna go halves on a baby?
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
