I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
