Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
