He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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