The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
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