I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
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