all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
