Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
