Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
