I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
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