you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize