how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Randomize
