Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
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