i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
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