ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
