***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
