Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
