he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
