I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
