chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
smell my finger.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Randomize
