I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
