Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Randomize
