I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
